Go
by AllytheVamp
Summary: Oz and the rest are tortured...in an unusual way.


New Page 1

***Go***

**By Allison**

Disclaimer: Joss owns these characters. Not I.

Setting: Somewhere in Season 3. 

Warning: Fluff...major fluff

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We were trapped. Willow, Xander, Cordelia and I were trapped and there was no way to get out. It was horrifying. I was stuck between a Cro-Magnon caveperson and a midget who through mere chance was demeaning everyone around him by coughing directly in their face. It was very bad.

Willow got lucky, at least more so then I, because she was sitting with some harmless sheep. They tittered now and then, but that was all they seemed to be able to do. The only bad thing was, sheep tended to have very limited vocabularies and very little grasp of manners. That's why Willow and I kept our eyes on each other, when I wasn't dodging the midgets sneezes.

Xander, like usual, had been subjected to the Lions den. He wasn't doing too well. He was really getting tortured. Sudden movements or words of any kind caused the lions to attack brutally. I wasn't sure how long Xander could last. He had tried giving them a lashing already, but it had been a terrible failure. I couldn't help feeling almost bad for the poor guy.

Cordelia was with the obsessive compulsives and the zombies. Luckily, the zombies were so focused on staring at the wondrous world of unseen objects that they didn't even notice her. The others just kept themselves focused on cleaning the stains off the floor. When one of the zombies snapped out of it, it didn't take him long to find his hand interesting and focus on that. 

Boring would be a kind word to describe our existence at that point. The whole ordeal was recognizably stupid. Hoarding all these people (who would never mix socially and didn't care to) into a confined area, droning on about old issues and expecting us to listen was just insulting. 

The Cro-Magnon guy made a grunting noise and shoved me slightly. "Yo dude, is that your girl over there?" He pointed to Willow who was staring at me imploringly. I smiled back at her with a 'it'll be over soon' look.

"So she is." 

"She's hot." He said in such impaired English it took me two minutes to figure it out. 

"Yes I think so too."

Before he could say anything else, the midget tapped me on the shoulder. "Hey, I think I'm allergic to the dust in this place. Do you have a tissue?"

I shook my head helplessly as he began sniffing again. I looked over at the cavemen on my left side. How come I had never seen these people before, yet we shared almost the same existence? 

The person who was leading the torture finally seemed to get tired of hearing his own voice. He gestured to the troll who proceeded to haul us over hot coals and then told us to listen to the big snake. The snake lumbered up to the front and soaked up our unenthused applause like a true loser. It was much worse then before, because this one was entirely transparent and very insipid. 

I saw our hero in the front row. She glared up a storm at him as he talked about the community and how we were going to effect it. I understood half of what he was saying, but the other half was drowned out by the roaring lions, tittering sheep, and grunting cavemen. I desperately wanted to go.

Finally the torture ended and the prisoners were released. I slipped my hand into Willows and we walked casually out the door as the sheep fluttered past us. 

"I thought I was going to die in there!" Willow moaned. "Harmony and her people would not stop talking about hair! I mean, come on, who in this world can have a conversation about hair for forty minutes??"

"They are very talented." I observed. "And at least there was no exchanging of germs over there."

"Oh yeah," She smiled sympathetically as we sat down on our usual picnic table. "I saw Jonathon coughing all over the place. Better then the jocks though. Wouldn't leave the girls alone."

"They could at least be quiet." I agreed.

Buffy sat down at our table with a sigh. "Trading horror stories?"

We nodded.

"Can you believe how long Snyder yelled at us? I mean he's all 'if I see such irresponsible behavior again you'll all be held back'. He can't do that!" She ran and hand through her hair. "And if I have to listen to one more speech out of Mayor Wilkins I will kill someone." 

"Someone kill me!" Xander's voice was tired and exasperated. "Or Larry must die. One of us has to go here! He and his friends...it's them or me."

Cordelia trailed behind Xander. "Someone remind me to kill the person who invented Lysol. Can you believe some of the people in this school actually carry some around in their bags? The smell could kill someone."

"There's too much killing in this conversation." I put in.

"I would if only they were demons." Buffy told Cordy. 

"Maybe we should recheck." Xander sat down next to me.

We sat in silence for a moment before I broke it.

"Assemblies really suck." 

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